The other day I took a nap. *gasp* Yes, I, Caroline, in a moment of absolute weakness, went against my word and slept during the day. Meaning that I was unproductive for approximately 60 minutes. I mean, what even?
I live for the word “productive.” It’s honestly my fuel. When someone asks me how my day was, I usually respond with, “Really good! So productive!” I tend to measure my happiness in how much I accomplish or check off my list, not how I feel about what I am doing. I fear that I have substituted feeling things for doing things.
In moments of utter exhaustion, I wonder how I got to that point. It’s such a cycle: work, work harder, eat a little, sleep a little, mope around, break down, recharge, start again. I honestly feel that our culture plays a role. We celebrate the girl who can manage 12 meetings in one day with a ho-hum attitude over the girl who enjoys a slow morning and invests in her conversations and feels present in what she does. We’ve started to see taking breaks as a sign of weakness.
So, back to my revolutionary nap. I decided it was time for me to unwind when the words I was reading in my book stopped looking like English and I could not carry on a kind conversation. I woke up and felt brand new. My friend saw me and said, “Caroline, I’m really glad you did that for yourself.”
That struck a chord with me. It really is only up to me to be mature enough to take care of myself. I need to stop confusing productivity for being mentally and physically healthy. In fact, resisting rest will only make me less productive. Totally not a #GirlBoss move.
This time of year is busy. #GirlBosses, I want you to take a break and feel good about it. No one ever ruled the world, and felt fabulous doing it, on little sleep.