Photo source: @fmtv_official
Dorothy and I clicked very early on. From my initial interview (when I was shaking in my booties) to now, she and I have felt like a unit. A few weeks and several quality life chats later, we discovered the source of our compatibility. We have the same love language: words of affirmation.
(If you have no idea what a love language is, take the quiz here. It’s too much fun.)
My grandmother was also a words of affirmation person. Considering I have her exact bone structure and love for retail therapy, she’s probably where I got it from. She would always tell me to never keep a compliment to myself, and I think that is such great advice.
But for whatever reason, I find it really, really hard to verbally tell people things I love about them. I can write notes and texts all day long, but there is a sense of vulnerability that comes with opening up to a person about what I admire about them. And I think it takes a high level of self-confidence to look someone in the eye, open up and share with them the little dialogue you have with yourself when they walk in a room and look awesome or when you watch their kind actions.
I fear that verbal compliments are going out of style. In the age of likes and Instagram comments (that can also now be liked…?), old-fashioned, honest and vulnerable words of affirmation are fading out like gaucho pants (one thing I am SO glad are gone forever… hopefully).
I get it, words of affirmation are not everyone’s thing, just like physical touch is not mine. But they are powerful. Being able to give honest and genuine words of affirmation starts with a strong sense of self. You need to be confident in who you are before you can celebrate others for who they are. This is another reason why Dorothy is the best giver of compliments and affirmation – that woman knows herself.
Here is why I think this is important: the working world is becoming more and more competitive and sharp-elbowed, and I fear that kindness is becoming confused with weakness. You are not any less of a person by building another up. In fact, it’s the other way around.
Take a note from Dorothy and my grandmother. Speak kindness to other #GirlBosses, or all bosses for that matter, and make them feel good. It will make you feel good, too.